I don't love you

I don't love you
as a matter of fact i don't want to love you
coz see love is the word that has been watered down through time
but this time there's nothing watered down about the way i feel about you
and like so many that have been in love the word love has been used and abused
neglected, taken advantage of, lied to, cheated on and sometimes even forgotten
so i , i don't want to love you
coz it used to be the word love used to pump the brakes on a conversation and leave someone feeling ugly and speechless
Now,its used to fill breaks in a conversation and pump reason back into why you cant leave someone whose making you feel ugly useless
So u c i , i don't to L-O-V-E you
but i do wanna take those letters and put them backwards and use the m to spell the beginning of the word evolve
because i want us to grow into something undescribable by just one word
see i don't want to love you but i do wanna make you like my childhood best friend
so that no matter how many times we hurt each other or beat each other up inside i know we can always make up again
and i wanna show u off to the world permanent connection

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5VVGwmchH8&eurl=http://www.facebook.com/inbox/?ref=mb&feature=player_embedded

i don't want to love you...
i cant love you
i don't want to love you
i need to................

Courtesy of Da poetry Lounge...

The feeling that stays....

a feeling that stays
you must wil it bid farewell
Hardly trying to look its best
it eats from the inside out

a feeling that stays
it will not go away
it hurts inside
the impact can be felt at once

a feeling that stays
like a wave, a ripple of the ocean
has a domino effect
hard to rid once its there

a feeling that stays
once it starts it doesnt stop
negative chi, unwanted mood
doesnt see the good in things


a feeling that stays
has to leave, want it to leave
will it to go, wish it away
a decision has to be made

a feeling that stays
until action is taken
a move has been made
a decision has been reached

a feeling that stays
alone I cannot rid it
distraction needed to forget it
but who will provide this noise

It comes a time........

it comes a time when what was ceases to be
the dreams die, the we becomes me

Sunflowers in the field are no longer yellow
Moods that were jovial are no longer mellow

The environment once filled with tranquility and peace
A fortress for the weary soul it no longer is

What was a delight to task
Becomes an inconvenience and hard to ask

Humor used to draw a smile
is tucked a way in a safe in a file

but the time when what was doesn't have to cease
appreciation is shown to please

a new lease of life can be lived
the difference, likes and dislikes inter weaved

When you think you know someone and a different side is shown
just means there's more to learn and add to what's known

Hatimaye....

We are engrossed in each others eyes.
Cannot see the flaws nor any lies.
Conversations are filled with giggles and laughter.
As it is life cannot be any better.

Happy second month anniversary.
Aawwww You dint have to baby.
Yes I did because your my lady.
Life is sweet and dandy.

few months down the line we realize we are different.
What you like and what I want are different.
We start arguing because our opinions are different.
Our ideals, our lifestyle, our virtues all different.

Things are not as they were.
We were friends, we were at par.
Now the fights are a common occurrence.
Arguments our usual indulgence.

a new lease of life can be lived
the difference, likes and dislikes inter weaved
When you think you know someone and a different side is shown
just means there's more to learn and add to what's known

we don't have to find middle ground in everything
we are not raw material waiting for processing
we are whole individuals with different personalities
with you I know there are harmonious possibilities

When living as out natural selves
we express love's boundless and harmonious qualities
When we pick demands from the shelf
we risk corrupting our mentalities

Our possibilities are endless if we live from our true nature
not about getting our own way but of understanding with compassion
Timeless love is endless, creative and prolific - beautiful picture
Deep love is more than just romance or passion.

No one is perfect and we reap what we sow
We receive what we are willing to give
When conflict knocks may the love remain
When all is lost may love hold us together.......

The Flower......

The flower from the bud grows
It gradually but surely produces petals, pretty fragile petals
Grows tall above the ground in knew for a while
away from the zone of mediocrity to a higher conformity, the unknown.
It's is not afraid to be seen by the world despite the repercussions
It's not afraid of the bee that may feed from its nectar
It's not afraid to be trampled on or plucked from its stem,
It blooms as if it boasting of its colors, its beauty, its fragrance and elegance

The flower from the bud grows,
It does not take a day or two to bloom
Its much longer, time is of the essence
Its parts are carefully intertwined and woven
the grand finale is a treasure to take for pleasure
with no equivalent measure, you can stare for leisure

The flower from the bud grows
Without time taken, thats faking the beauty in the making
It needs the water, the sun, the care, the pamper.
To be embraced in its totality, the beauty for the world to see.
Love like the flower needs time to grow
It needs to be pampered, shared and embraced
Not afraid of the repercussions of vulnerability
It holds fast to trust and mutual respect

Love like the flower........

So far....

She calls just to say hi
I miss her too, she knows,
Everyday i realize the compromise that closed my eyes
there lies the miles, the distance between us and how time flies.
her eyes, the smiles, her hair, the style, her face all the while no bile

I remember like yesterday, the way she came to pay,
not a visit but a home stay, to portray not betray
the love deep inside, the love I couldn't hide,
the love that may cost us the rest of our lives.

Why did she leave, though she had to.
Why did she go, she knew she ought to.
To be with me one day once more is the creme dream, the prime thing
I will see her I know and its not about the cash, the benjamins or the dough
Its her H-E-A-R-T for Eternity.

she knows or knows not, the thought or plot.
A little information will go along way in due time.
The essence of my being, I cannot verbalize but i strategize as i spit the cool vybes
as i contemplate and appreciate the entirety of her soul, the quality of a her as a whole
She is the one i know for sure.
The one I would one to spend the rest of my life with the one i will
maybe, perhaps...marry? Will she have me?
So far........

The end......

The end of the month is here. She waited for it.Yes indeed. For other reasons other than the remuneration benefits too. With the end comes the beginning. The beginning of of additional tertiary education, the beginning of another month, the beginning of new goals to set and others to achieve.

The end is only the beginning, so they say.So it shall be then. A beginning.

Happiness.......

Whether bliss or contentment,
it delights the human soul.
Be it the joy emotion,
Gladness is its goal.

A dose of it motivates you,
Inspires and elevates your spirit.
Denoted by smiles or laughs,
quite contagious, you will definitely feel it.

Happiness,
it's source disputed by quite a few.
Material or status,
An argument not new.

For some it is religion or ethics;
For others it is health or genes.
Yet others being optimistic,
just get it by whatever means.

Whatever your reason may be,
the circumstance or situation,
Choose to be happy and pass it along.
Then you are on the way to self actualization.

R.I.P Bernie Mac.............

Born Bernard Jeffery McCullough in Chicago in 1957, the actor began his showbiz career as a stand-up comedian in the local Cotton Pickin' Club. He starred in Transformers, the Ocean's Eleven films and his own Award-winning sitcom The Bernie Mac Show, which is based on his own life as caretaker of his sister's kids.

The 50-year-old comedian, passed away on Saturday morning at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago, Illinois, a week after being admitted to the medical centre. Bernie Mac's family had expected him to fully recover from the bout of pneumonia that put him in a hospital three weeks ago, his daughter said Sunday. However, Je'niece Childress said that as time passed she and her mother braced for the possibility that he could die.

News of the actor's illness emerged at the start of the month, but his publicist Danica Smith released a number of statements earlier this week playing down reports of Mac's deteriorating health.

At one point, Smith had to dismiss claims Mac had died, and on Thursday she said the actor was "in a stable condition" and was "responding well to treatment". She even predicted he would be released from hospital within weeks.

But the star - who had also been suffering from sarcoidosis, a tissue inflammation disease, since 1983 - died on Saturday after experiencing complications from pneumonia, reports TMZ.com.

In a statement issued hours after his passing, his representative said, "Actor/comedian Bernie Macpassed away this morning from complications due to pneumonia in a Chicago area hospital. No other details are available at this time. We ask that his family's privacy continues to be respected."

Je'niece Childress said Mac, who maintained a home in the south Chicago suburb of Frankfort, was a loving father, husband and grandfather. Childress, 30, is Mac's only child. Her mother, Rhonda McCullough, and Mac were married for 32 years, she said. Childress has a 1-year-old daughter.

"He was a hard man and he made no apologies for that," Childress said. "When it came to me and my mother and my daughter he was the softest."

The bold-talking comic, earned the ire of Sen. Barack Obama last month for using language deemed "inappropriate" during Mac's act at a fundraiser for the Democrat presidential candidate. Mac's brand of comedy caught him some flack after he joked about menopause, sexual infidelity and promiscuity at a July fundraiser for Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.

Bernie Mac will be remembered as a comedian that refused to change his image for Hollywood and as a mature comedian who is very intelligent, very engaging in his TV, movie and stand-up appearances.

Again, The Bernie Mac cause of death seems to be complications of pneumonia, and at 50, it is sad that we have lost one of our edgy comedians.

08-08-08.......New Beginnings.....

The great divide, the toil has almost ended. Seven days have gone by. She was in the brink of giving in. Giving up. It was too tiring. She grew weary by the day. The sun that shone mercilessly above her did not relent as she worked the land. She almost passed out. She heaved, sighed, and looked up as if her pleading eyes could pull a cloud over the bright sun.

She thought of it no more. She wanted no more. It began with a purpose, with a reason. Now it was hopeless and of no use. Resigning to her humble makeshift shaft was the best she could do for herself and her little ones.

“Gold they said. We would find gold. How could I be so stupid as to believe them? All they wanted was cheap labor,“ she soliloquized.

She sneered and spit in the ground and went on digging. They had travelled far and wide in search for wealth. She was easily lured by the dangling dollars that were cast in her face. They told her she would be so rich that she wouldn’t have to work again. They said it would only take a few hours. But seven days were not a few hours. They were days, many days. Her hunger new no bounds. She had been able to ignore herself and feed the little ones. They did not need to suffer like that. She resolved to make it better for them.

The sun was finally going down in the horizon. She was glad now. She even managed a smile. She knew she was close. But she could only hope. They were told to retire to their homes. But she stayed on. She went on digging. So they left her behind on her own and in the dark. It seemed that nothing could stop her now. The little ones were in bed. She heard them playing no more. She dug on as she hummed an old hymn to herself.

Her arms ached but she did not rest. She worked through the night until dawn. She was down almost eight feet. Beads of sweat dripped from her face. She wiped her brow with mud stained hands. She thought of her little ones. They were alone in the shelter. In the makeshift house. But soon she would be with them. It was almost day break. She dug with more urgency, like a new strength had overcome her.

CLANK! Finally! She dug around the object. It was a stone. A big stone. She took a hoe and broke the stone. There was nothing in one half. She disintegrated the other half and a gleam in her eyes could not express the joy in her heart. She had struck gold.

The people joined her in the hole, the dug around for more. That day, the eighth day, excitement was in the air. For the lady that had worked all night had paved the way for new beginnings.